Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The REAL differences between Texas and California

Image attribution: www.obrag.org
I was honored to be a guest blogger on The News Funnel recently. The post in it's entirety can be read below...or accessed through Funnel Cast.

A great deal has been published recently about the crappy business environment that the Golden State of California offers vs. the "streets are paved with gold" that Texas offers. Governor Rick Perry has amassed more frequent flier miles traveling to California than Governor Brown has traveling to the moon...in his head! With Toyota announcing that it will relocate to Plano, Texas from Torrance, California...along with 4000 good paying jobs, BTW...I thought it was time to list the REAL differences between Texas and California. Indulge me and I will highlight the differences.

As a disclaimer, I provide Location Advice to owners and occupants of industrial buildings in Southern California...AKA, I sell and lease commercial real estate for a living and have since 1984. I actually was born in Texas, spent my formative years in a neighboring state (right across the state line in Texarkana), and still have family and friends there that I visit quite frequently. ALL of this qualifies me as some sort of an expert...if I can only remember why?

OK, here is what you paid for...
We can wax philosophically about taxes, cost of living, regulation, incentives, quality of life, taxes (yep mentioned it twice)...etc. But no one writes about the REAL differences between the two states.

So in no particular order...here goes.
  • In Texas people ride bulls, in California we ride waves
  • In Texas fish is deep fried prior to consumption, in California we eat fish raw
  • In Texas the energy trade is the "awl bidness", in California it is petro chemical business...and only discussed privately
  • In Texas an RSVP means that you show up unless mortally wounded, in California an RSVP means that you'll be there unless something better comes up
  • In Texas "America's team" resides, in California...well never mind
  • In Texas college football they gig 'em and hook 'em, in California everyone's a winner
  • In Texas the tallest mountain is bio degradable, in California you get a real altitude change
  • Texas has WhataBurger , California has In N Out...I know, I know, Texas has 'em too...but its a Cali tradition
  • Texas has Allen's (no relation) boots, California has Rainbow sandals
  • Texas has wind sheer, tornadoes, sleet, snow, thunder and lightening, and floods, California has the marine layer
  • Texas has three types of venomous snakes, California has the Real Housewives of OC
  • In Texas you're greeted with a "howdy" and left with a "y'all come back now, ya hear!" In Cali its "whatsup dude!"
  • If you ask directions in Texas, you get something like..."well, you know where Mr. Oliver lived? Well, when you get to his house you turn left and go to the old Piggly Wiggly and then I think its right"...In California you get "take the 405 to the 710 to the 10 toward the city and off at Melrose...no wait, take the 5 and off at Valencia and then all the way on Melrose. 
So if your moving to Texas, remember to ask for specific directions or you may end up in Hollywood.